We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
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Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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