I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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