he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How does one acquire holy water?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize