No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
