He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
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watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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