please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize