wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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