I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
