I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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