I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
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So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
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I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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