Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
