I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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