he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
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He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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