we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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