I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
