It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
