Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?