he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.