why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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