he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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