there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.