her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?