You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.