Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize