wakey wakey hands off snakey
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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