did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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