so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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