whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize