I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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