Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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