Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
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Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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