it hurts more in the daytime
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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