is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.