woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...