I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dating After Heartbreak
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?