i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize