Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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