So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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