We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize