By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
dude. I can hear the air.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
