Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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