Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.