i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.