i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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