he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize