went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
