Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
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Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
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I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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