He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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