she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
