That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
