Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
