dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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