I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize