weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We named our party play list daddy issues
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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