I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.