Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.

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  (734): similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well. http://tfl.nu/7lvz
  Replies (143) Good night (4391) Bad night (893)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.

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  (571): I seriously fake cumming more than i poop. http://tfl.nu/kwns
  Replies (33) Good night (766) Bad night (5613)
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  (716): View more from New York

  My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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  (716): My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics http://tfl.nu/wc24
  Replies (50) Good night (5390) Bad night (1150)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

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  (702): Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily. http://tfl.nu/1vv1
  Replies (3) Good night (3561) Bad night (942)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?

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  (330): How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle? http://tfl.nu/4cgb
  Replies (10) Good night (3221) Bad night (1190)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.

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  (513): Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair. http://tfl.nu/sr76
  Replies (2) Good night (998) Bad night (1941)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level

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  (812): that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level http://tfl.nu/3djd
  Replies (11) Good night (3843) Bad night (809)
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  (831): View more from California

  I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all

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  (831): I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all http://tfl.nu/rp5b
  Replies (4) Good night (1442) Bad night (486)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(

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  (970): They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:( http://tfl.nu/8u7z
  Replies (12) Good night (489) Bad night (1428)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.

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  (503): Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck. http://tfl.nu/hc6u
  Replies (10) Good night (1262) Bad night (546)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.

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  (214): Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas. http://tfl.nu/qczi
  Replies (7) Good night (1169) Bad night (509)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.

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  (620): Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day. http://tfl.nu/8ts7
  Replies (6) Good night (501) Bad night (1203)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.

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  (214): I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/xu3y
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (671)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.

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  (915): I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday. http://tfl.nu/5xu3
  Replies (5) Good night (410) Bad night (673)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed

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  (727): Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed http://tfl.nu/f4j9
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (258)

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