Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up