I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
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My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
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Boobs speak an international language.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.