you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
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The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol