I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
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So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
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I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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