So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
