Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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